


this is where i leave you

by badskeletonpuns



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst, Juno Steel and The Final Resting Place, M/M, Nureyev POV, Spoilers, episode coda, much much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 21:52:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8506834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badskeletonpuns/pseuds/badskeletonpuns
Summary: A short coda to last night's episode. THIS IS NOT A FIX-IT FIC. This is canon compliant angst, of Nureyev's point of view of the last few minutes of the episode and after the end of the episode. It is very, very sad.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Hayley Kiyoko's Palace, a song about losing a loved one. :)))))) you're all welcome.

Peter tended to wake up up quickly, eyes flicking open and brain switching on, immediately ready to face the day.

It was a useful skill in his profession, and he prided himself on it. 

Until he met Juno Steel, that was. 

When they’d first met, Peter hadn’t wanted the day to end, hadn’t wanted to sleep at all, for that would mean the end of this lovely adventure. And he couldn’t have that, not when Juno had leaned into his touch when he’d pet his hair in that hospital room or when Juno’s eyes were so dark or when Juno had told him that he didn’t have to go…

He’d had trouble sleeping the night he left, hiding in the belly of a cargo ship heading millions of miles away from that detective. 

He’d had trouble sleeping ever since then, if he was honest. When you travelled as often as Peter did, you got used to sleeping just about anywhere. But now, every bed seemed too wide, too cold, too empty, and he could never close his eyes without seeing the expression Juno had made when he’d pulled away from their kiss.

Couldn’t dream without hearing Juno asking him to stay again, and sometimes in dreams he did stay.

Those dreams were always the worst to wake up from. 

He would sigh and shake his head. Melancholy was useless, nostalgia for something that never happened even more so. 

He had had work to do. 

Tonight had been different, though. Good different. The best different. 

Peter could remember Juno, warm and solid and so real in his arms. Juno’s mouth on his, Juno’s hands on his body…

God, he never wanted to lose this. 

And he wouldn’t have to, would never have to leave Juno behind again. When he disappeared he would be able to take Juno with him. It was practically too good to be true, but the fact that Juno lay here next to him was a powerful testament. The feeling it gave Peter was so bright it almost hurt.

If he looked over, there would be Juno, lying sated and sleepy on the hotel bed. There would be a flush still riding high on his face and across his shoulders, coloring the skin under those bruises that Juno had just about begged Peter to leave on him. 

Unable to resist the urge, Peter rolled over to look Juno and reached out to put his hand on Juno’s cheek. He was cautious to avoid the wounded area around his eye, and gently stroked the side of Juno’s face.

The detective leaned into the touch with a small, sad smile on his face that almost broke Peter’s heart. 

Juno never had been good at hiding his emotions.

Peter slid his hand around till it rested on the back of Juno’s neck and tugged him closer. Juno went willingly, relaxing against Peter with a contented sigh. He let himself be held close and tucked his head under Peter’s for a moment. 

Then Juno pulled away and looked Peter in the eye. Juno still looked so sad, almost heartbroken in a way Peter hadn’t seen on him before, and he didn’t know why, didn’t know what to do. (He didn’t want to think about if he’d caused this expression on Juno before, didn’t want to think about anything aside from the way Juno had smiled up at him after the bomb had gone off and they’d both lived through it, and the way they’d kissed after.) 

All he knew for certain was that he loved this man, more than he’d ever thought possible.

So Peter just leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Juno’s lips. 

“You know, Juno,” he murmured. “Call me a fool if you like… But I think I may have fallen in love with you.” Peter was done lying, to Juno or himself, done running from his feelings for this petulant detective who he somehow adored beyond comprehension. 

Juno reached up, ran a hand through Peter’s hair. It was probably horrifically tangled, but Juno didn’t seem to care. “If you’re a fool, that makes two of us.” He pulled Peter down into a long, slow kiss that melted into more, sleepy touching each other, knowing they had all the time in the world. 

Peter fell asleep at some point - Juno had still been awake, but he’d been blinking and yawning already, and Peter was fairly sure he was not far behind. Juno was so warm in his arms, and the last thing Peter remembered before falling asleep was the gentle tickle of Juno’s breath on his chest. 

The first thing he noticed when he woke up was the cold. Juno must have gotten up to open the window or something, or maybe gone into the bathroom or to grab the free breakfast offered downstairs. He’d probably be back soon.

Peter pushed off the twisted covers, stretched slow like a cat, and wondered if he could convince Juno that they had enough time for some fun before leaving the planet. He sprawled back on the bed, waiting with a smirk for the detective to walk back in.

But Juno didn’t walk back in. 

Not in the next five minutes. Or the next ten. 

Peter checked the bathroom, and there was no Juno. Juno’s clothes were gone, too, and when Peter dressed and went downstairs there was no sign of him anywhere in the breakfast area and the other patrons seated there said they hadn’t seen him. 

His first reaction was fear, terror, even - what if Miasma had had a colleague, what if the Kanagawas had succeeded in enacting vengeance on Juno, or worse, what if something from Peter’s own past had discovered his true identity and tried to kidnap the detective to manipulate him?

He was planning for those scenarios right up until he stopped the car he had ‘borrowed’ outside of Juno’s apartment, intending to inspect it for clues. 

Someone was silhouetted in the window, and there he was. Juno, standing in the window, staring at a small, oddly familiar piece of paper and holding a bottle of something alcoholic in his other hand. 

Juno was fine, and the only thing Peter could feel was relief, he’d thought Juno had been dead too many times lately and he was wrong again, Juno was  _ fine. _

And… And Juno had left him. 

Left him alone and cold in a hotel bed and for the first time Peter realized how much it hurt to be the one left behind. 

For a moment he just sat in the stolen car, staring at his hands, knowing they held Juno’s, knowing that if he just looked in a mirror he’d see proof of Juno’s presence last night written in every hickey and all over his reddened lips. 

But if he looked in a mirror, he would not see Juno next to him now. 

Juno hadn’t even left him a note. 

Nureyev took a deep breath. Detective Steel had made his choice. So too must he make his. He put the car in gear and drove off, already forming plans of quick ways to get off planet. This place was nothing but trouble, and when trouble arose… Well. He knew all too well how the rest of that sentence went. 

**Author's Note:**

> :)))))))) how do u feel (i feel, honestly, pretty frickin heartbroken)


End file.
